Month: June 2005

The Horny Tooth Fairy

The verbal constipation continues. It doesn’t help that I had
another wisdom tooth extricated two nights ago. Not that it was a
painful thing. I was able to enjoy nasi lemak the next morning
for breakfast barely 10 hours after having it uprooted. I am now
left with two more of those. I guess that officially makes me
half-witted then. Since the dentist managed to pull out the tooth
in whole this time around, I thought I’d bring it back home with
me and sleep on it, hoping that I would be able to meet the tooth
fairy who might turn out to be one hot chick. I don’t recall
meeting anyone who calls herself The Tooth Fairy that night but I
did have a wet dream.

If one day you find me wearing dentures, you can pretty much
figure out what I’ve been up to.

I, ANAL (I, Am Not A Lawyer): The Sequel

I had my case heard again at the Tribunal on Monday following up
on the previous one I had
earlier this year. Long story short: I settled for the no
liability, ex-gratia payment of 75% from the amount that I’m
claiming. It could have been 100% but it would most probably
entail another hearing or two and having to subpoena the witness
again. It’s much better than the initial offer of 50% though,
which I told the defense lawyer to go find a
wau bulan
and fly it. Lawyers representing nasty companies can really be
nasty sons of bitches bastards. I did tell you
before that I hate lawyers, didn’t I? I hate lawyers.

Peekchures

Yes, we are currently experiencing some verbal constipation on this website. Perhaps some pictures taken during a recent weekend trip to the Pearl Of The Orient will provide some verbal diarrhea relief then. After all, aren't pictures supposed to be worth a thousand words or something?

Another 8,760 Hours Older

I turned another 365.25 days older over the weekend, which means
it’s been approximately 262,980 hours since the day I got
expelled from my mom’s womb. If you think I’m overcompensating
with these numbers, it’s because people (usually the women) often
undercompensate (or attempt to) when it comes to these things.
Come to think of it, my existence actually began some 250-275
days earlier when two haploid cells from a certain husband and
wife couple merged to become a single diploid cell. Who would
have thought then that the zygote would eventually be capable of
providing seemingly endless hours of geeky weirdness till today.
I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t think of that when they got
horny that fateful night some 11,200 days ago.

© 2020 redzuan

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑