You’re the one I dream about
But the only question with me now
Is “Do I creep you out?”
Everytime I shake your hand now
Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
Do I creep you out?
Somethin’ I should ask about
Can I sniff the pit-stains on your blouse?
Do I creep you out?
Know exactly where you live now
Follow you from work right to your house Do I creep you out?
Dedicated to all the ex-es and the misses. Sung to the chorus
of Taylor Hicks’ (American Idol Season 5 winner) “Do I Make You
Proud?”. Taken off Weird Al Yankovic‘s
latest album “Straight Outta Lynwood”, out now in music stores
not in our country. Boo!
Fasting month is back again. It’s that time of year where it’s
PERFECTLY NORMAL to forget eating lunch, still be up at those odd
hours and snack right before I hit the sack. It’s the only time
where I can feel like I gel properly with the rest of my Muslim
brethrens in the same timezone as I am as far as the
eating/sleeping schedule is concerned. Of course, I still need to
work a little bit more when it comes to breaking fast, i.e. at
the dinner table with other people and not in the car stuck in
traffic or at the office desk like I had to most of the time last
year. Then again, that may be just The Dude up there testing my
patience to see if I have the strength and willpower not to cuss
and lash out at Samy Vellu for causing the traffic buildup at
the toll plaza on the road leading to my place.
Anyways, here wishing all you Muslims a fulfilling Ramadhan
We are passionate, we are coders, we are hackers and we are
artists. We are oversold on corporate opportunities, and are
belittled in our reviews as poor communicators, nerds, and
egotists. But we are the ones that change the world. We are the
ones that make your life easier. We are the ones that devise ways
for you to bring your family and friends closer, simply because
we thought it would be fun to do so.
Same story, different cast.
Ayah was involved in a car accident when he crashed Mama’s car
into another somewhere in Shah Alam yesterday afternoon.
Thankfully he’s alright although he’s feeling some slight
discomfort on his chest from the impact. Once again, we’re amazed
at the efficiency of the police force when we went to the station
to file a report. It took a whole hour after waiting for their
lunchtime to be over, no less than 5 officers when there was
absolutely no queue and RM4 to have another piece of printed
paper bearing a stamp that took another 2 officers to prepare.
For a moment there, it did feel like I got bitchslapped back to
the 70s with their deft demonstration of “many underpaid hands
make light work”. Thank god they had 3 computers to help them
with that reprint too. Heaven knows it might have taken them days
had one of those things broke down.
I like to think that we have more control in life than we think
and that every action has a reaction. Of course, despite our
best efforts, things may still not always work out the way we’d
hoped. Still, with so much of life left up to chance, we just
can’t help but to look back and wonder sometimes, what if things
had been different? More often than not, it’s the
that can hurt the most when you start reflecting on things.
That’s why try to do as much as you can while you can. Don’t
make yourself ponder in 20-30 years’ time and say, “why the
hell didn’t I do that last time?” Take chances. Take risks.
Things may or may not work out exactly the way you expect it to
be. Fate can be on your side sometimes, and there are times
you’ll be sealing your own fate. If you’re a Muslim, I’m sure
you know that one must Believe in Divine Destiny along with the
others in the Six Articles of Belief.
In the end, you just have to trust that whatever’s supposed to
happen will happen. Good or bad. Better or worse. But don’t let
that stop you from trying and most importantly, LEARNING from
the experience. As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow puts it, “Look
not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely
improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy
future, without fear.”
Here now is what I call my epiphany machine. It’s made of porcelain. I sit down on it and take stock of my life (or write deep weblog entries). I can have major epiphanies on the one shown below. There may be others out there that are similiar but it’s just not possible to do any soul-searching on those crappers ‘cos they’re typically germ-infested to the brim. Even if they’re clean, there’s no guarantee that it will elicit any epiphanies (or bowel movements) like right now when I’m out of town. The unfamiliar “feel” of it at this abode away from home will most likely cause a little bit of verbal constipation on this weblog in the coming few days. But that’s not so much of a worry as the possible lack of bowel movements though and I doubt any amount of toilet revolution is gonna help too.
Unlike many other Malay males, I am rather ashamed to admit
that I am one of those few who do not know how to ride a
motorcycle. After mastering the bicycle (it was my main form of
transportation through college), I went on and learnt to drive
the caged four wheeler, skipping the motorcycle altogether. I
never really thought that it has its consequences until lately.
Apparently, Putra UMNO has taken the Mat Rempits under their
wings and rebranded them as Mat Cemerlangs.
According to Putera UMNO’s head Datuk Abdul Azeez Abdul Rahim,
the “Mat Cemerlangs are the nation’s biggest assets”
and are actually a misunderstood lot as well as “having
the potential and excellence to become the leaders of tomorrow”.
So I had it all wrong. I didn’t actually need to slog through
school, college, uni, etc. with lessons, lectures, books, exams,
etc. only to end up as a single wage slave bachelor struggling
my way through to pay the bills for the rest of my life when I
could have made untold riches,
have women gawk at me in admiration and pleasure me at my will,
be recognized as the country’s asset and future leader, all by
being less of a political fencesitter
and getting myself a Lesen Memandu Kelas B2. Oh wait.
Those Mat Cemerlangs don’t even need to have a legit license
too, do they?
On that note, Happy Merdeka, yo!
Male carbon based bipedal life form capable of operating machines that can perform billions of operations per second without bloodshed. Also capable of producing millions of male reproductive cells on a daily basis without even trying.