I have been told that you cannot make someone love you. All you
can do instead is stalk them and hope that they panic and give
in. And when they do, you can probably get by on charm for about
fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big weenie or
huge boobs (having both at the same time is not a good idea).
With that insight, you should now find renewed use for those
spam emails you get that you often discard.